Wednesday, 2 September 2015

Fake Science, Drunkbaiting and Fundraising: The Dryathlon is Upon Us

Rarely have I written, spiked, deleted, and rewritten an entry to this degree. I started writing about this very emotive topic back in January and almost hit “publish” but pulled it at the last minute. But now, I think, is as good a time as any to talk about the attempts by charities to stop us drinking.

Previous iterations of this entry featured furious spleen-venting about the September Dryathlon, Sober October, Dryvember and Dry January, in which I furiously popped off shots at these institutions, and they ran LONG. One of them was over 3,000 words. Nobody needs to read all that bile.

I think it’s weird to push abstinence from alcohol as a mitzvah while dodging the fact that spending a third of a year “dry” is probably going to have a detrimental effect on the hospitality and drinks industry. The whole movement reminds me of the scene from the film Clerks, when a chewing gum salesman whips up a crowd into throwing cigarettes at the “cancer merchant” running the till. These drives towards fundraising self-punishment (broken up from a clear run by December, because of course Jesus still wants us to get pissed) don’t acknowledge the fact that they’re taking money out of peoples’ pockets. Because, hey, alcohol gives you cancer, right?

This, though, isn’t my main beef with these movements.